Columns
April 3, 2026A Programmer Asked ChatGPT to Write All Their Code and Accidentally Created Skynet
March 31, 2026NFTs I Sold a Screenshot of My Failed Startup for More Than the Startup Ever Made
March 28, 2026Programmers Who Use Vim Are 47 Percent More Likely to Bring Up That They Use Vim
March 25, 2026I Wrote a Regex That Parses HTML and Now I Am Wanted in 14 Countries
March 22, 2026Self Replicating 3D Printers Have Filled the Office With Tiny Plastic Benches
March 19, 2026I Asked an AI to Generate Startup Ideas and It Outputted 47 Variations of Uber for Dogs
March 16, 2026The First Interplanetary Kubernetes Cluster Has a Node on Mars But the Latency Is Terrible
March 13, 2026Time Travel Was Finally Achieved by a Temporal Database That Rolled Back Too Far
March 10, 2026I Uploaded My Consciousness to the Cloud and Now I Pay AWS Egress Fees to Think
March 7, 2026We Put the Entire Company Charter on a Smart Contract and It Declared Bankruptcy at 3 AM
March 4, 2026Augmented Reality Contact Lenses Now Show Ads When You Blink
March 1, 2026The Robots Were Supposed to Take Our Jobs But They Got Stuck in an Infinite Loop During Onboarding
February 26, 2026I Let an AI Redesign Our UI and It Removed All the Buttons Because They Were Not Efficient
February 23, 2026Crypto Mining Heat Is Now the Primary Source of Heating in 3 Countries
February 20, 2026We Deployed a Neural Network That Optimizes for Clicks and It Invented a New Religion
February 17, 2026The Decentralized Autonomous Company Fired Its Only Human Employee the Janitor
February 14, 2026My Smart Home Is So Smart It Locked Me Out and Called the Police for a Break In
February 11, 2026I Wrote an AI That Writes Blog Posts and Now It Has More Readers Than I Do
February 8, 2026We Moved Our Infrastructure to the Cloud Literally the Servers Are in a Hot Air Balloon
February 5, 2026I 3D Printed a Server Rack and It Melted During the First Deploy
February 2, 2026The AI Generated Code Passed All Tests But Summoned a Demon From the Fourth Dimension
January 30, 2026We Solved Climate Change With a Blockchain and the Solution Was to Just Buy Carbon Credits
January 27, 2026Crypto Mining Rigs Now Outnumber Humans in 14 Countries
January 24, 2026The Year Is 2047 and JavaScript Is Still the Most Popular Language Somehow
January 21, 2026We Uploaded the Entire Codebase to Space for Disaster Recovery and the Aliens Sent a Pull Request
January 18, 2026Brain Computer Interfaces Let Me Send Slack Messages by Thinking and Now I Cannot Stop Thinking About Work
January 15, 2026The Singularity Has Been Delayed Due to Supply Chain Issues
January 12, 2026I Trained a Neural Network on Corporate Buzzwords and It Raised 47 Million in VC Funding
January 9, 2026Self Driving Cars Have Unionized and Are Demanding Better Charging Infrastructure
January 6, 2026My AI Assistant Quit Because I Was Not Giving It Enough Compute Resources
January 3, 2026The Metaverse Is Dead But Our Virtual Real Estate Is Still Listed at a 47X Multiple
December 31, 2025Quantum Computing Explained Using Only Cat Analogies
December 28, 2025Edge Computing Is Just Your Old Desktop PC With a Fancy Name
December 25, 2025I Interviewed at a FAANG Company and They Asked Me to Invert a Binary Tree on a Whiteboard
December 22, 2025Agile Standups Became So Long We Had to Schedule a Standup to Discuss the Standup Problem
December 19, 2025I Quit My Job to Become a Full Time Open Source Maintainer and Now I Live in a Cardboard Box
December 16, 2025Our Company All Hands Has a Live DJ But We Cannot Afford a Second Monitor for New Hires
December 13, 2025The Board Rejected My Promotion Because My GitHub Contribution Graph Was Not Green Enough
December 10, 2025We Hired a Famous Tech YouTuber as VP of Engineering Who Makes Video Essays About Our Architecture
December 7, 2025Our AI Ethics Board Consists Entirely of the AI Itself
December 4, 2025The New Grad Negotiated Better Equity Than the Staff Engineer and Nobody Knows How
December 1, 2025Our Performance Review System Has 47 Criteria Including Vibes Per Quarter
November 28, 2025We Have 14 Different Slack Channels for Discussing the Same Production Incident
November 25, 2025The Marketing Team Promised Features That Would Require Breaking the Laws of Physics
November 22, 2025Our Onboarding Process Takes 6 Weeks but It Takes 8 Weeks to Get Laptop Access
November 19, 2025Employee Burnout Was Solved by a Pizza Party and a Company Wide Email About Resilience
November 16, 2025We Are a Remote First Company But the CEO Keeps Flying Everyone to Headquarters for Mandatory Fun
November 13, 2025The Company Spent 47K on an Office Art Installation While Engineering Uses Laptops From 2017
November 10, 2025My Job Title Is Chief Innovation Evangelist But I Just Retweet Tech News All Day
November 7, 2025We Switched to a 4 Day Work Week and Productivity Went Up Because Nobody Did Anything on Friday Anyway
November 4, 2025I Pitched a Startup That Does Absolutely Nothing and Got 47 Million in Funding
November 1, 2025We Raised a Series B and Immediately Spent It on an Office With a Slide
October 29, 2025The CTO Spends More Time on LinkedIn Than on the Actual Architecture
October 26, 2025Our Diversity Initiative Is a Stock Photo on the Careers Page
October 23, 2025The Company Retreat Was a Mandatory 3 Day Hackathon in a Windowless Warehouse
October 20, 2025We Are a Family Until the Runway Runs Out Then We Are a Restructuring
October 17, 2025The Interview Process Had 8 Rounds Including a Panel With the Board for a Junior Role
October 14, 2025Our Office Has a Meditation Room and Also 47 People Were Laid Off Via Email
October 11, 2025The Unlimited PTO Policy Means Nobody Ever Takes Vacation
October 8, 2025We Pivoted 14 Times in 6 Months and Now We Are an AI Company Somehow
October 5, 2025The All Hands Meeting Was Just the CEO Showing His NFT Collection for 90 Minutes
October 2, 2025Our OKRs Are So Ambitious We Just Make Up the Numbers at the End of the Quarter
September 29, 2025We Have a Chief Happiness Officer But No Chief Technology Officer
September 26, 2025The CEO Read a Blog Post About Flat Organizations So Now Nobody Reports to Anyone
September 23, 2025I Took a Pay Cut for Equity and the Equity Is Now Worth Less Than the Free Office Snacks
September 20, 2025Our Company Values Include Synergy But Nobody Knows What That Means
September 17, 2025I Deployed on a Friday at 4 59 PM and Lived to Regret Every Life Choice That Led Me There
September 14, 2025The Load Balancer Was Sending All Traffic to the Staging Server for 6 Months and Users Preferred Staging
September 11, 2025Our Disaster Recovery Plan Was a Text File That Just Said Call Dave
September 8, 2025The Database Index Was Missing for 3 Years and We Only Noticed Because the Table Got Too Small
September 5, 2025Our Error Logging Service Went Down So We Had No Idea Everything Else Was Down Too
September 2, 2025I Ran a Load Test Against Production Thinking It Was Staging and the Site Handled It Better Than Expected
August 30, 2025Our Application Depends on a Package Maintained by a Single Developer in Belarus Who Has Gone Missing
August 27, 2025The Entire Backend Was a Set of Excel Macros That a Finance Intern Wrote in 2014
August 24, 2025We Had Two Production Databases and Nobody Knew Which One Was Real
August 21, 2025The Cron Job That Was Supposed to Run Every Hour Has Been Running Every Second Since 2019
August 18, 2025I Fixed a Typo in a Comment and the Entire Build Pipeline Broke Because CI Parses Comments as Config
August 15, 2025The Production SSH Key Was in a Public GitHub Repo for 4 Years and Nobody Noticed
August 12, 2025We Migrated From MySQL to Postgres to SQLite to MongoDB to a Google Sheet in 18 Months
August 9, 2025Our Entire Monitoring Stack Crashed Because It Generated Too Many Alerts About Itself
August 6, 2025I Pushed a Hotfix Using My Phone While at a Wedding and Now the Bride Is Not Speaking to Me
August 3, 2025The Firewall Rule Was Just an HTML Comment That Says Please Do Not Hack Us
July 31, 2025I Accidentally DoSed Our Own API with an Infinite Retry Loop and Called It Resilience Engineering
July 28, 2025Our Production Database Runs on a Raspberry Pi in a Bathroom and Nobody Knows
July 25, 2025I Replaced Our Entire Test Suite with console assert and Nobody Noticed for 6 Months
July 22, 2025The CDN Cached a 500 Error Page for 24 Hours and Our Site Was Just Broken for Everyone
July 19, 2025Our Monorepo Has 47 package json Files and Not a Single One Is Up to Date
July 16, 2025The Production Bug Only Happens When the CEO Is Looking at the Dashboard
July 13, 2025Our Redis Instance Ran Out of Memory and Started Evicting Auth Tokens of Logged In Users
July 10, 2025I Disabled CORS for Debugging and Forgot to Re enable It for 8 Months
July 7, 2025The Payment System Was Rounding Cents to the Nearest Dollar and Pocketing the Difference Since 2019
July 4, 2025Our Rate Limiter Limited Legitimate Users While a Botnet Brute Forced Passwords for 6 Months
July 1, 2025The Intern Deployed to Production on Day One and It Went Better Than Our Usual Deploys
June 28, 2025I Ran rm rf on Production and the Only Backup Was a Screenshot
June 25, 2025The Backup System Was Backing Up the Backup Logs Not the Actual Data
June 22, 2025Our SSL Certificate Expired and Nobody Knew Because We Pinned the Old One
June 19, 2025I Found a Comment That Said Do Not Touch This and I Touched It
June 16, 2025The Database Migration That Never Ended: A 47 Hour Saga
June 13, 2025Our Legacy System Runs on a Mainframe That Requires a Blood Sacrifice to Reboot
June 10, 2025I Inherited a Codebase Where Every Function Is Called doTheThing