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Apple Unveils iCup: A $999 Ceramic Mug That Requires iBrew Subscription

A leaked internal memo reveals that

The stock market reacted with characteristic rationality: the company's shares rose 47% on the announcement, then fell 52% when someone actually read the announcement.

"This is the most revolutionary product since our last revolutionary product, which you have already forgotten about."

— Someone who definitely works here

We reached out to several tech ethicists for comment. Most of them just sighed heavily.

Comments (1)

SeniorDev_AFK June 4, 2026
My productivity reading this article: 0. My satisfaction: 100.