Tech Satire
Technology humor and parody
5G Tower Conspiracy Theorist Accidentally Becomes RF Engineer, Discovers 5G Is Just Radio Waves
Hold onto your keyboards, because
Elon Musk Announces Neuralink Can Now Let You Tweet With Your Thoughts — World Immediately Regrets It
A leaked internal memo reveals that
Cloud Provider Introduces 'Serverless Servers': It's Just Servers But Nobody's Allowed to Touch Them
A new report from analysts at GartnerMcKinseyForrester suggests that
Tesla Bot Learns to Make Coffee, Unionizes, Demands Better Working Conditions
The technology world awoke to bizarre news on Thursday:
GPU Pricing: NVIDIA CEO Confirms RTX 6090 Will Cost One Human Kidney
Consumer organs now accepted as valid payment method
Breaking: Intel Engineers Discover That Transistors Can Be Smaller Than 10nm
By an anonymous TSMC janitor
Junior Dev Pushes to Production on Friday at 4:59 PM, Company Declares State of Emergency
The technology world awoke to bizarre news on Thursday:
TypeScript Developer Adds Types to Their Grocery List, Shopping Trip Takes 6 Hours
A new report from analysts at GartnerMcKinseyForrester suggests that
FCC Approves Satellite Internet Constellation That Will Block Out the Actual Stars
At a press conference that raised more questions than answers,
Kubernetes Cluster So Complex It Has Developed Its Own Weather System
At a press conference that raised more questions than answers,
Apple's New Mac Pro Costs More Than a House, Ships Without a Power Cable
A new report from analysts at GartnerMcKinseyForrester suggests that
New Programming Language 'Eldritch' Requires Developer to Sacrifice a Goat Before Compilation
A new report from analysts at GartnerMcKinseyForrester suggests that
Programming Language Designed Entirely in WebAssembly Runs at 0.001x Native Speed, Developers Call It 'The Future'
A new report from analysts at GartnerMcKinseyForrester suggests that
Quantum Computer Solves Problem in 3 Seconds That Would Take Regular Computer 10,000 Years — It's '2+2'
In what can only be described as the logical endpoint of current trends,
The npm Ecosystem Now Contains More 'is-odd' Variants Than Actual Useful Packages
Hold onto your keyboards, because
Steve Jobs Would Have Hated This Article But We're Publishing It Anyway
A leaked internal memo reveals that
Annual 'JavaScript Framework Awards' Sees 847 New Entries, 846 of Them Are React Wrappers
In an announcement that nobody asked for but everyone expected,
Apple Unveils iCup: A $999 Ceramic Mug That Requires iBrew Subscription
A leaked internal memo reveals that
Meta Launches VR Meeting Platform Where Everyone's Legs Finally Work
In what can only be described as the logical endpoint of current trends,
Linux User Spends 3 Weeks Configuring Touchpad, Calls It 'Out of the Box Experience'
In an announcement that nobody asked for but everyone expected,
Rust Evangelist Rewrites Breakfast Menu in Rust, Claims It's Memory-Safe
In an announcement that nobody asked for but everyone expected,
Developer Finally Learns Vim After 15 Years, Immediately Can't Figure Out How to Exit
Industry insiders are buzzing after
New Social Network Bans All Content, Users Report Best Experience Ever
Hold onto your keyboards, because
Docker Container Now So Nested It Contains a Tiny Universe Where Another Developer Is Debugging It
Industry insiders are buzzing after
Intel Announces 15th-Gen Chips Still on 14nm, Now With +++++ Suffix
Industry insiders are buzzing after
Samsung Announces Foldable Phone That Folds Into Another Foldable Phone
In what can only be described as the logical endpoint of current trends,
Tech Company Mandates Return to Office, Employees Respond by Returning to Office Depot
In what can only be described as the logical endpoint of current trends,
Developer Comments Out Entire Codebase, Claims It's Now Bug-Free
Industry insiders are buzzing after
Google Announces 47th Messaging App, Promises This One Will Definitely Survive
In an announcement that nobody asked for but everyone expected,
Microsoft Teams Adds Feature to Simulate Listening During Meetings
At a press conference that raised more questions than answers,
AWS Launches New Service That's Just EC2 But With a Different Font
In an announcement that nobody asked for but everyone expected,
Developer Spends 6 Months Automating a 5-Minute Task, Calls It Victory
In an announcement that nobody asked for but everyone expected,
Electric Car Company Promises 1000-Mile Range, Delivers 1000 Miles of Range Anxiety
Industry insiders are buzzing after
Apple Adds New 'Pro Max Ultra' Tier to iCloud: Costs Your Soul, Includes 5GB Storage
In a development that has left industry observers both confused and mildly concerned,