#Databases
24 articles
The Board Rejected My Promotion Because My GitHub Contribution Graph Was Not Green Enough
Promotion denied: GitHub graph not green enough. I work on private repos. Board said private contributions lack visible impact.
The New Grad Negotiated Better Equity Than the Staff Engineer and Nobody Knows How
New grad got better equity than Staff Engineer. The new grad's uncle is on the board. Discovered at the holiday party. Awkward.
We Have 14 Different Slack Channels for Discussing the Same Production Incident
14 Slack channels for one incident. Resolved in 10 minutes. Post mortem discussion: 3 weeks and counting. Resolution: add more monitoring.
The Interview Process Had 8 Rounds Including a Panel With the Board for a Junior Role
8 rounds for a junior frontend role. Final panel: 3 board members asked about my 5-year plan. I did not get the job.
Our Office Has a Meditation Room and Also 47 People Were Laid Off Via Email
Himalayan salt lamps in the meditation room. 47 people laid off via a 6 AM email. The subject line was Exciting Changes Ahead.
The All Hands Meeting Was Just the CEO Showing His NFT Collection for 90 Minutes
CEO: Here is my Bored Ape. Staff: Are we getting raises? CEO: Look at this CryptoPunk. Meeting adjourned after 90 minutes.
Our OKRs Are So Ambitious We Just Make Up the Numbers at the End of the Quarter
Q4 OKRs: increase revenue by 4,700 percent. We achieved 3 percent. We reported 4,700. Nobody verified the numbers.
The CEO Read a Blog Post About Flat Organizations So Now Nobody Reports to Anyone
Flat org means zero decisions get made. We debated which CI tool to use for 3 weeks. We still have not picked one.
I Deployed on a Friday at 4 59 PM and Lived to Regret Every Life Choice That Led Me There
Friday 4:59 deploy. Homepage raw JSON. Database migration ran on one replica. 47-hour weekend recovery. Never again.
The Load Balancer Was Sending All Traffic to the Staging Server for 6 Months and Users Preferred Staging
Load balancer sent all traffic to staging for 6 months. Users loved staging. It had features we never shipped. Awkward.