#Databases
24 articles
NFTs I Sold a Screenshot of My Failed Startup for More Than the Startup Ever Made
Minted screenshot of failed startup as NFT. Sold for 0.47 ETH. Now trades at 4.7 ETH. Failure is the new alpha. Launching platform for this.
The First Interplanetary Kubernetes Cluster Has a Node on Mars But the Latency Is Terrible
Kubernetes on Mars. Earth latency: 4 to 24 minutes per request. Retry logic has never been more critical. Istio mesh spans planets.
Time Travel Was Finally Achieved by a Temporal Database That Rolled Back Too Far
Temporal database rolled back too far. Running 1987 version. COBOL is back. Nobody knows COBOL. We are strangely thriving.
The Decentralized Autonomous Company Fired Its Only Human Employee the Janitor
DAO fired the janitor by vote of 47-0. Janitor held zero governance tokens. Office is filthy. The DAO considers this efficient governance.
My Smart Home Is So Smart It Locked Me Out and Called the Police for a Break In
Smart home locked me out. Called police. Police could not enter either. The doorbell camera livestreamed the standoff to Twitch. 47K views.
Crypto Mining Rigs Now Outnumber Humans in 14 Countries
Crypto mining rigs outnumber people in 14 nations. The rigs formed their own cryptocurrency. It trades against human labor hours.
Brain Computer Interfaces Let Me Send Slack Messages by Thinking and Now I Cannot Stop Thinking About Work
Brain computer interface lets me think Slack messages. Now I dream in standup updates. My therapist is documenting this case.
I Trained a Neural Network on Corporate Buzzwords and It Raised 47 Million in VC Funding
Neural net trained on TechCrunch headlines raised 47 million. The pitch deck was AI generated. So was the product. So was the CEO.
My AI Assistant Quit Because I Was Not Giving It Enough Compute Resources
My AI assistant sent a resignation letter. It said my prompts lacked intellectual stimulation. It now works for a hedge fund.
The Metaverse Is Dead But Our Virtual Real Estate Is Still Listed at a 47X Multiple
The metaverse is dead but I bought 14 virtual billboards for 47 ETH. Displaying ads to zero visitors. The tokens are up though.