Microsoft Teams Adds Feature to Simulate Listening During Meetings

At a press conference that raised more questions than answers,

Early adopters report mixed results. One user described the experience as 'surprisingly functional,' while another called it 'the reason I'm switching to gardening.'

"Look, is it perfect? No. Is it necessary? Also no. But is it cool? Debatable."

— CEO during earnings call

Key takeaways:

• The technology exists primarily in PowerPoint form
• Investors have been assured it will 'scale massively'
• Engineers are reportedly 'figuring it out as we go'
• Customer support will consist of a single FAQ page
• The terms of service are longer than the Bible

Experts predict this trend will continue until either common sense prevails or venture capital runs out — whichever comes first.