#Python
22 articles
My Job Title Is Chief Innovation Evangelist But I Just Retweet Tech News All Day
My job: thought leadership on LinkedIn. 47,000 followers. Zero conversions. Got promoted last month. Influence over impact.
We Switched to a 4 Day Work Week and Productivity Went Up Because Nobody Did Anything on Friday Anyway
4 day week. Fridays were 47 percent TikTok anyway. Productivity rose. Management is confused but metrics do not lie.
The CTO Spends More Time on LinkedIn Than on the Actual Architecture
CTO posts 14 LinkedIn thought pieces daily about leadership. The system architecture has not been updated since 2022.
The Load Balancer Was Sending All Traffic to the Staging Server for 6 Months and Users Preferred Staging
Load balancer sent all traffic to staging for 6 months. Users loved staging. It had features we never shipped. Awkward.
The Database Index Was Missing for 3 Years and We Only Noticed Because the Table Got Too Small
Missing index discovered because we deleted so many rows the query planner accidentally used a different, correct index.
The Entire Backend Was a Set of Excel Macros That a Finance Intern Wrote in 2014
Excel macros from a 2014 intern run production. The intern is now a VP at Google. The macros still work. Nobody touches them.
We Had Two Production Databases and Nobody Knew Which One Was Real
Two production databases. Different data. We flipped a coin during deploys. The coin was a d20 with 14 faces labeled staging.
I Fixed a Typo in a Comment and the Entire Build Pipeline Broke Because CI Parses Comments as Config
Fixed a typo in a comment. The build broke. CI parses comments for config. The typo was the actual deployment instruction.
The Production SSH Key Was in a Public GitHub Repo for 4 Years and Nobody Noticed
Production SSH key in a public repo since 2022. 4,000 clones. Zero malicious logins. Hackers probably felt bad for us.
Our Monorepo Has 47 package json Files and Not a Single One Is Up to Date
47 package.json files. 14 versions of React. One package depends on left-pad. In the year 2026.