In an announcement that nobody asked for but everyone expected,
Competitors have already begun scrambling to develop their own versions. A spokesperson for a major tech company, who spoke on condition of anonymity, admitted: 'We should have thought of this. Or maybe we did and decided it was a terrible idea. Either way, we're doing it now.'
"Our users are at the center of everything we do. Unless they complain, in which case they are edge cases."
— CEO during earnings call
Key takeaways:
- The technology exists primarily in PowerPoint form
- Investors have been assured it will 'scale massively'
- Engineers are reportedly 'figuring it out as we go'
- Customer support will consist of a single FAQ page
- The terms of service are longer than the Bible
The company plans to roll out the feature to all users by Q3, assuming the lawsuits don't pile up too quickly.
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