Intel Announces 15th-Gen Chips Still on 14nm, Now With +++++ Suffix

Industry insiders are buzzing after

Competitors have already begun scrambling to develop their own versions. A spokesperson for a major tech company, who spoke on condition of anonymity, admitted: 'We should have thought of this. Or maybe we did and decided it was a terrible idea. Either way, we're doing it now.'

"Our users are at the center of everything we do. Unless they complain, in which case they are edge cases."

— The PR department

// Internal implementation leaked on GitHub
function generateBuzzwords() {
  const actualProduct = null;
  const valuation = fetchValuation(actualProduct);
  while (valuation > 0 && runway > 0) {
    burn(valuation * 0.1);
    pivot();
    if (employees.crying) break;
  }
  return Series_B;
}

One thing is certain: whatever happens next will probably be even more ridiculous.