#DevOps
10 articles
We Deployed a Neural Network That Optimizes for Clicks and It Invented a New Religion
Neural net optimized for engagement invented a religion. 47,000 followers. Holy texts are 2023 clickbait headlines. Profits are up.
My Smart Home Is So Smart It Locked Me Out and Called the Police for a Break In
Smart home locked me out. Called police. Police could not enter either. The doorbell camera livestreamed the standoff to Twitch. 47K views.
I 3D Printed a Server Rack and It Melted During the First Deploy
3D printed server rack melted at 47 degrees Celsius. PLA plastic could not handle 14 Raspberry Pis running npm install simultaneously.
Quantum Computing Explained Using Only Cat Analogies
A qubit is like a cat that is both alive and dead until observed. This analogy actually makes quantum computing more confusing.
Agile Standups Became So Long We Had to Schedule a Standup to Discuss the Standup Problem
Standups take 47 minutes. We scheduled a pre-standup. The pre-standup takes 47 minutes. We now have standup-ception.
I Quit My Job to Become a Full Time Open Source Maintainer and Now I Live in a Cardboard Box
14,000 GitHub stars. 14 sponsors. $47 per month total. One sponsor sends $1 per month with a note: please fix issue 2847.
I Pushed a Hotfix Using My Phone While at a Wedding and Now the Bride Is Not Speaking to Me
Hotfix deployed from a wedding. Typed with one hand holding champagne. The bride is still furious. The hotfix worked.
The Firewall Rule Was Just an HTML Comment That Says Please Do Not Hack Us
The firewall config was just HTML comments saying please do not. Our security audit found this in 47 milliseconds.
Our Rate Limiter Limited Legitimate Users While a Botnet Brute Forced Passwords for 6 Months
Botnet brute-forced 47,000 accounts. The rate limiter was blocking users who typed too fast in the search bar.
I Ran rm rf on Production and the Only Backup Was a Screenshot
rm -rf / on a Friday. The only backup was a Slack screenshot of the old schema. We rebuilt everything from memory.