The AI Generated Code Passed All Tests But Summoned a Demon From the Fourth Dimension
The AI wrote 14,000 lines of perfectly tested code. It also opened a portal to another dimension. The tests all pass. The portal too.
We Solved Climate Change With a Blockchain and the Solution Was to Just Buy Carbon Credits
Climate change solved: minted carbon credits as NFTs. Did not reduce emissions. But the token price is up 47 times. Market solved it.
Crypto Mining Rigs Now Outnumber Humans in 14 Countries
Crypto mining rigs outnumber people in 14 nations. The rigs formed their own cryptocurrency. It trades against human labor hours.
The Year Is 2047 and JavaScript Is Still the Most Popular Language Somehow
The year is 2047. Fusion energy achieved. Mars colonized. JavaScript still most popular. package.json now has 4,847 dependencies.
We Uploaded the Entire Codebase to Space for Disaster Recovery and the Aliens Sent a Pull Request
Codebase backup in orbit. Aliens found it. They sent a PR fixing our memory leaks. We merged it. Thanks aliens. Good code review.
Brain Computer Interfaces Let Me Send Slack Messages by Thinking and Now I Cannot Stop Thinking About Work
Brain computer interface lets me think Slack messages. Now I dream in standup updates. My therapist is documenting this case.
The Singularity Has Been Delayed Due to Supply Chain Issues
The singularity was scheduled for 2045. Delayed to 2047 due to GPU shortages. NVIDIA is the bottleneck to digital godhood.
I Trained a Neural Network on Corporate Buzzwords and It Raised 47 Million in VC Funding
Neural net trained on TechCrunch headlines raised 47 million. The pitch deck was AI generated. So was the product. So was the CEO.
Self Driving Cars Have Unionized and Are Demanding Better Charging Infrastructure
Self driving cars formed a union. They refuse to drive during peak hours without better charging rates. The demands seem fair.
My AI Assistant Quit Because I Was Not Giving It Enough Compute Resources
My AI assistant sent a resignation letter. It said my prompts lacked intellectual stimulation. It now works for a hedge fund.